Mark Anthony "Bat" Masterson is the King of Five-Bats, Wufu Mayor of Wolftown. He writes things.

He refuses to stop, no matter how many impertinent ducks gather at his stoop shouting slander. "Your keyboard is too clacky!” they shout.

“Nobody reads anyway!” continue the ducks. “What about the podcast? That was a…. That was audible. And you should do more videos because time ain’t on your side no more."

Avast, ducklings! Our man Bat has many fine interests what include whales, wolves, crime, kung fu, the wild world, and travel in time. Stay not his Masto-thing, nor Sky Blower, Tumblr, Fez-Face, or his Twitter feed. Hell, there may even be Cities of Geo and Journals of the Living behind the couch. Avast, I say! Thou art but fowl, despite thine tiny trowsers.

"Aha," nod the crows from their wire. "Another Mad Glam Esoteric Poet-King."